Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
