Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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