I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
