I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
