i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
