Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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