I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
