Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
