Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Randomize