It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
