I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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