For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
