theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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