after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
