Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
