he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
