between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
how drunk are you?
Several
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
