and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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