More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize