i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
