Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
