Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
