Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
