So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
