Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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