Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
