I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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