Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
there is glitter all over my balls
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