my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im holly from the hills drunk
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
