I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize