I could have mohawked her pubes.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
