Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
