after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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