u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
