Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
