No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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