It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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