I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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