ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
