I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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