I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
