just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
