lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
