I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
