honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
