whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
