hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
