I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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