even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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