omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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