i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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