I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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