Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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