oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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