I wish my penis had an off switch
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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