is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
