i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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