It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
